Why Am I In School Again?!

I started MFA Interaction Design program at School of Visual Arts about half a year ago, September of 2015. So far I am pushing myself the hardest to pretend to be extroverted and being inspired by the world everyday.

When I first decided to come to school, I was excited, but at the same time scared. I don't like talking in front of people. I freak out and get nervous so easily that I stutter a lot to the point that I can't present my ideas clearly enough. Interaction Design required lots of public speaking in front of both small and big crowd. When I was in Seoul, Korea, I was a secretary for my church's youth group that I had to go on stage and make announcement in front of near 1000 people every Sunday for 3 months. Guess what, I never got better at it nor got comfortable at it that I even had to mark commas to where to breath after reading word by word. Well, enough of my being a scaredy cat story ... I was also excited to be in school again! I was excited to meet new people, to learn new things, to inspire myself to do thing with that I didn't know/aware of, and to get a new job title after school!

Anyways, back to why I chose to study again. I wanted to have myself back. I was loosing myself. I was loosing my name. I was just becoming someone's family member. Mainly because I was confused with what I wanted to be an artist. I wanted to a sculptor. I wanted to be an artisan. I wanted to be an educator. I wanted to be a graphic designer. If a thing has too many meanings, it just means ANYTHING/NOTHING. I was in that situation. I wanted to be anything/nothing. This was in my deep consciousness until very recently with the shallow cover of myself repeatedly thinking that I am happy and satisfied with my life. 

In the field of User Interaction Design, there's the method of asking 5 whys. I did that to myself to find what I really want to do.

Why do I want to be an artist, an educator, a designer?
Why do I want to make things?
Why do I want to express myself? 
Why do I want to to connect with people?
Why do I want to listen to people?

My finding was that I want people to not waste resources. When I say resources, it means natural resources and importantly, TIME. 

Interaction Designers begin the design process by researching where the core problems are and looking for insights. I love this part. Even though I am an introverted person, so I don't love starting a conversation, but once I am in a conversation, I love listening. I learn by listening to others. I understand the world better by listening to others. I see the world better by listening to others. Also I love watching people and catching small things what people do differently from majority of others and I love seeing small gestures that lots of people miss. This is why I am here at SVA IxD. I love minor details of lives of people. They are so different even though most human being look the same. Looking and listening to people and correcting myself my assumption is wrong and learn from it and being happy when my assumption is right. 

This is really worth my 2 years of time just learning and empathizing about people and process to design for them.